Your brain. Yes, specifically yours. Yeah, I’m looking at you. It does a really great job at holding you back. It will make you believe all sorts of crazy things. The programming runs deep. Real deep. Depending on your upbringing, depending on a lot of factors, certain things will trigger that programming, very quickly. But, at the heart of it, your brain has your best interests at heart in terms of safety and security, but it isn’t really serving you well at times. A lot of times, in fact. Damn that subconscious!

If I can disengage the brain long enough (in a safe fashion), then I recognise the handsome, witty, intelligent, insightful mensch that I am. However, if the brain just gets a slight whiff of that, then the negative self talk comes into play. This is never more true when you’re involved in or developing some sort of creative endeavour. Trying to break out of a rut. Trying to climb out of the box society jammed you into. You just wait for the brain to politely cough to get your attention (ahem) and watch all that negative stuff start to trickle out, slowly building into a tsunami of defeatism before internally screaming at you to stay in your lane, don’t rock the boat, do what you’ve always done.

Your brain will tell you that you are too fat, too stupid, not fashionable enough, not good looking enough and will certainly tell you, with great glee and gusto, that the project you’re working on, those beautiful pieces of art that you have put your soul into, well, no-one is going to hand over their hard over cash for that. And the worse part is, you will believe that internal dialogue. Your head will drop, and will start to disengage from your passion project and you will further re-enforce that internal programming, and you will continue to listen to the terrible advice your brain gives you. (Quick disclaimer: your brain does some wonderful things, it is an amazing piece of biological technology, it effortlessly keeps you alive as best it can, so the trick is discernment of the internal messages).

What you’re actually trying to achieve is definitely worth someone putting their hands in their pockets or swiping a card, and paying you money for. There is a market for pretty much everything. Whatever you do is of some value to someone. Irrespective of what the brain is telling you. The majority of people who get paid for their creative output are no more special, intelligent or creative than you. They just show up, do the work and get paid. They’re quite often as riddled with doubt as you. The only difference, other than showing up, is that they have learnt to quieten the brain enough to let the creativity flow.

The best way to quieten the mind and tune into the flow? Sure stuff like meditation/mindfulness helps but one of the things that isn’t taught enough is that you need to trust yourself. You need to listen to that little voice telling you that this will be a good investment of your time, and you’ll enjoy it and someone will part with cash (if that’s what you’re looking to do). Once you start trusting yourself, your brain starts to shut up. It’ll take a back seat. Trust yourself. You know what you’re doing. All that chatter about not being enough will pass. Just trust yourself.