When I was studying psychotherapy (yes, amazingly I am a fully qualified clinical psychotherapist) the tutor has some great phrases that always travelled with me, even some 25 years later. “Change is the only constant”, was a classic. The other was the “serenity prayer”. “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” The Tutor was a recovering alcoholic, so the sentiment rang very true for them and it is a powerful little nuggent of wisdom.
In a world filled with unpredictability—economic shifts, global crises, personal setbacks—it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. One of the most powerful resilience strategies is focusing on what you can control and letting go of what you can’t.
This principle, rooted in Stoic philosophy and modern psychology, helps reduce anxiety, increase productivity, and build mental toughness. When you direct your energy toward actionable factors, you regain agency in chaotic times.
Why Focusing on Control Matters
1. Reduces Anxiety & Stress
Studies show that ruminating on uncontrollable factors (e.g., market crashes, others’ opinions) increases cortisol levels, leading to chronic stress. Conversely, focusing on actionable items gives you a sense of direction.
2. Improves Decision-Making
When you’re not distracted by external noise, you make clearer, more strategic choices.
3. Boosts Emotional Stability
Accepting that some things are beyond your influence prevents frustration and helplessness.
4. Increases Productivity
Time spent worrying about uncontrollables is wasted energy. Redirecting focus to solvable problems leads to progress.
The Circle of Control: A Key Framework
Popularized by Stephen Covey in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, the Circle of Control divides life into three zones:
- Controllables – Things you directly influence (your actions, habits, responses).
- Influenceables – Things you can affect but don’t fully control (relationships, team dynamics).
- Uncontrollables – Things entirely outside your power (weather, global events, others’ choices).
Resilient people spend most of their energy in the first two circles.
How to Identify What You Can & Can’t Control
Step 1: List Your Concerns
Write down everything causing you stress right now. Examples:
- Job security
- A friend’s behavior
- Economic recession
- Health issues
Step 2: Categorize Them
Ask:
- “Can I directly change this?” → Control (e.g., your daily habits).
- “Can I influence this somewhat?” → Influence (e.g., persuading a colleague).
- “Is this entirely out of my hands?” → No control (e.g., stock market swings).
Step 3: Shift Focus to Actionables
For each “control” item, define one small step you can take.
5 Strategies to Stay Focused on What You Can Control
1. Practice the “5-Second Rule” for Worry
When you catch yourself stressing over something uncontrollable:
- Pause.
- Ask: “Is this within my control?”
- If no, mentally release it (visualize dropping a rock).
2. Use the “If-Then” Planning Method
Prepare for uncertainties without fixating on them:
- “If X happens, then I’ll do Y.”
Example: - “If I lose my job, then I’ll update my LinkedIn and reach out to my network.”
3. Adopt a Stoic Mantra
The Stoics used reminders like:
- “I control my actions, not outcomes.”
- “This, too, shall pass.”
Repeat these when feeling overwhelmed.
4. Limit Doomscrolling & Negative Inputs
Constant exposure to bad news fuels helplessness. Set boundaries:
- Check news once a day (not before bed).
- Unfollow anxiety-inducing accounts.
5. Invest in “Controlled” Areas of Life
Strengthen domains you can influence:
- Health → Exercise, sleep, nutrition.
- Skills → Learning, certifications.
- Relationships → Quality time with loved ones.
Real-Life Examples of This Mindset in Action
Example 1: Career Uncertainty
Uncontrollable: Company layoffs.
Controllable:
- Updating your resume.
- Networking proactively.
- Learning new skills.
Result: Instead of fearing job loss, you’re prepared.
Example 2: Health Challenges
Uncontrollable: A chronic diagnosis.
Controllable:
- Following treatment plans.
- Adjusting diet/exercise.
- Managing stress.
Result: Better coping and quality of life.
Common Traps to Avoid
1. False Control (Overestimating Influence)
Example: Trying to “fix” someone else’s problems. Ask: “Is this truly my responsibility?”
2. Complacency (Underestimating Control)
Example: Blaming “bad luck” instead of taking action.
3. All-or-Nothing Thinking
Even in crises, small actions matter. Example: Saving $10/week builds financial resilience.
Daily Habits to Strengthen This Skill
- Morning Reflection: Ask, “What’s one thing I can control today?”
- Evening Review: Note what you did influence vs. what you released.
- Gratitude for Agency: Appreciate moments of choice (e.g., “I chose to stay calm”).
Final Thought: Control Is the Antidote to Chaos
Uncertainty won’t disappear, but your response to it can. By mastering this resilience skill, you’ll:
- Waste less energy on futile worries.
- Feel more empowered in crises.
- Make progress where it counts.
Action Step: Pick one uncontrollable stressor today and consciously shift focus to an actionable step instead.
I’ll see you next week for another Life List
Officially andy russell 